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innervisioner

@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk

#Autistic #AuDHD Vegan BBC 6Music fan, MDANT, spoonie & cat herder. Team Moose🫎. Cishet woman & ally. 💚✊😷♾️
#cats #music #eco #nature #knit #tech #journal #sustainability #hEDS #NEWAL
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innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ ☀️
from Sat 20th April:

  1. Got the complex tip run done with help 🗑️

  2. Bought mochi and tapioca balls from the market 🍡

  3. Watched some compelling SciFi TV, “The Three Body Problem”. Highly recommend!
    👩‍🔬

@3goodthings

innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ 👋☺️

1 - Cats greeting/demanding food with menaces in the early morning 😼

2 - A welcome slow day with an aft of sorting duplicate tools for donation 🛠️

3 - Watching Taskmaster 🔴


@3goodthings @3goodthings

innervisioner , to ActuallyAutistic group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Interesting study on & , particularly around the effects of lack of sleep & anxiety on the brain.

If you’re into , it’s worth experimenting with L-tyrosine, L-glutamine & definitely melatonin.

Never knew definitively that ASD folk lack melatonin, that would explain sleep issues!

Top tip: Always try to sleep well before midnight as inflammatory increase massively then and cause much more damage.
@actuallyautistic

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8615882/

innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ 🌻

  1. Supported a colleague with some work and enjoyed a sunny walk as part of it. 🌞

  2. Got the family tasks a big leap further. 👣

  3. Can tangibly feel some long-term heavy stresses easing. Not concluded yet, but going the right way. 🌡️

@3goodthings

innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ to you 👋☺️. How ya doin’?

@3goodthings

  1. It’s been sunny - without any rain! 🌆
  2. The postponed job request got done ✔️
  3. Repurposed an old 60s drawer into a bedside shelf. 📚
Sci_Fi_FanGirl , to ActuallyAutistic group German
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl@hessen.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Oh fuck. Throughout the last few weeks I had some time off and I used it to work on my blog, reflecting on a few things...

All this was good, but it also triggered painful memories and I started to vaguely recall some events in childhood. When they come up, I feel like crying, but I can't access all of the memory. Don't know if it's a trauma-response or if I'm overreacting.

Now I feel I have to address this stuff, but it's overwhelming and I'm afraid of dealing with it.

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic It sounds like time, experience over the later years and your emotional status is saying you’re ready. The mind & body know how to work through trauma and crisis.

One book that’s really good for this is “The Body Keeps The Score” by Bessel Van De Koek. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18693771-the-body-keeps-the-score

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic Oh yes! A couple of times, and have given copies to people. It’s good stuff.

innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ Masto 🌤️

  1. Got in early to see the job advisor who was friendly, understanding and helpful.🙏

  2. Got to the bank before the queues & the desk clerk was also nice to deal with. 🌻

  3. Found some old nostalgic clothes of mine and had a laugh trying them on. 😆

@3goodthings

innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ to you 👋☺️. How’s it going?

  1. A wise Masto pal suggested I get a second account as the current instance had been having problems, so done that. ✅

  2. Had a quiet work shift, welcome as life has been hectic again. ⏱️

  3. Watched some Astrid episodes with my H. Great to see people represented with accuracy on TV at last. 📺

Gonna have a busy one today so wish you a good one - and dodge that heavy rain!☔️

@3goodthings

Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
Not asking for advice:
So far my experiment with cannabis to ease anxiety hasn't been successful. Not sure if it's worth continuing. As usual alexythemia and poor interoception makes it difficult to evaluate how things affect me.

I tried a very low dose of indica edible from a reputable provider. It makes me sleepy and uncoordinated, and definitely enhances my visual thoughts (which are already quite intense) it's like the resolution is turned up, I can see more details when I imagine things. But I think it also increases my anxiety.

I sleep worse with it - I take longer to fall asleep, and my sleep seems shallow. I also have more of those horrible startling-awake moments that happen when I'm very anxious.

Other things that help people sleep also don't work for me so maybe this is not surprising. For example sleeping pills don't make me sleepy melatonin doesn't either.

Not asking for advice, just sharing my experience.

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@Zumbador @actuallyautistic I use a few CBD products from CBDiablo (Scottish co) which are great. Some wider spectrum oil, some vegan gummies and spray, all of which help relax me. Can’t remember if sativa or indica . L-theanjne is good too, but through the day; it’s one of the active ingredients in green tea and calms yet also focuses the mind (gives clarity) which helps with some tasks. I use melatonin at night when I can get it, but magnesium citrate is a decent sub.

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@Zumbador @actuallyautistic Oh cool! Do you dabble with green tea as well thru the mornings? There’s some nice low caffeine ones around.

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@Sharr0w @Zumbador @actuallyautistic Thanks Sharr0w! ☺️👍

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@Zumbador @actuallyautistic There are some very delicate greens about which would give you a theanine lift without hitting you over the bonce with caffeine. I personally like kuchicha and genmaicha but here’s a link to give you the lowdown: https://www.lifeisbetterwithtea.com/low-caffeine-tea/

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@rebekka_m @Zumbador @actuallyautistic Ooh: Never tried bancha, next time I see some will give it a go! 🍵

ScottSoCal , to ActuallyAutistic group
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@actuallyautistic

So I'm wondering - what's your (group your) experience with grief?
My mother died. For long and complex reasons, we hadn't spoken for years. People kept telling me the grief would kick in, but it hasn't. I was angry for a little while, but that went away. No grief, no crying. I was sad for a little while about who she might have been, for herself and for her kids, but she wasn't, and now that's gone, too.

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic Was close to my Mam and she died relatively suddenly, after 3 weeks in hospital. Immediately after, I had to start caring for Dad, who was totally reliant on her for almost everything. He passed after long illness after the lockdowns, then another relative passed two weeks later.

I’ve had this described as “complex grief”, loss of time to grieve one relative, loss of connection from the past and then chaos. I’m only just resurfacing now.

innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ to you. 🌇

  1. Decluttered linens & more clothes.👚
  2. A leisurely pace to the day. 🙏
  3. Getting used to avoiding bad foods.🍪

@3goodthings

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@mooseandriosmom @3goodthings Solidarity! ☺️
On the wheat and sugar wagon here.

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar
Melinda , to 3goodthings group
@Melinda@mstdn.social avatar

@3goodthings

  1. The bluebells have started to emerge. In a couple of weeks there should be carpets of blue to see in the woods.
  2. I did some gardening today. Gardening is mood enhancing and useful.
  3. Fluffy dog's ear swab test results came back today and she is clear of bacteria. It's been 2 weeks since this started, but she is now ok.
innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@Melinda @3goodthings Yay! Good to hear Fluffy is doing well!

innervisioner , to ActuallyAutistic group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Been struggling lately with physical elements of burnout and through searching, found this useful resource via National Autism Society UK: https://www.seattlechildrens.org/globalassets/documents/health-and-safety/autism/autism_206_raymaker_slides.pdf

@actuallyautistic

Dr_Obvious , to ActuallyAutistic group German

@actuallyautistic
Does anybody have a solid scientific ressource that HSP is autism with a stigma free lable?

I think I read something in the past, but can't recall it.

First thing I just read about differences between the two is so funny. "Autism is like that, HSP is also like that, but we frame it differently, so it's different!"

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar
punishmenthurts , to ActuallyAutistic group
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar


@actuallyautistic
.
Geez, that was too clear yesterday, wasn't it, about stimming?
.
That Autistics (and others?) process their stress and cortisol . . . themselves, "to the air, as it were," when they stim, and that Allistics use others to process theirs.
.
I think spanking perhaps convinces them to do that, it is Mom and Dad showing them how the first time they cause a problem - I man, Mom and Dad would do this to every kid.
.
But if it works, if you start to externalize stim rather than self stim, you're Allistic, you have the alleles and the response.
.
If it doesn't work, you are not Allistic and they sign you up for extra, ABA. This is what's going on, I'm almost certain.
.
Again, this is why girls were missed more than boys, because in our current world, girls aren't so much supposed to externalize and fight, so the lack of it disappears more so than with boys.
.

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@punishmenthurts @actuallyautistic No, I don’t have kids; I requested an assessment when I’d gone through multiple burnouts at work from masking for years and eventually got enough clues and hints from others I was ASD.

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@punishmenthurts @actuallyautistic Welcome! ♾️Guess to answer your Q, it’s when we learn not to fight ourselves…

innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ 🌤️.

  1. Amy Lame in 6Music weekends with a stylish wake-up.📻

  2. Did all the gnarly family admin. ✅

  3. Getting longer sleep lately. 💤

@3goodthings

theautisticcoach , to ActuallyAutistic group
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What are the biggest challenges you’ve begun to face since beginning your journey of embracing your self?

@actuallyautistic

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Probably
the despair around never being accepted or understood by most other NT people, despite busting my guts to be clear when it matters.

One day I’m gonna go live in a shack on the moors and to hell with humanity.

innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’, how are you doin’?

  1. Youngest emotional support cat kept me company while doing admin. 😺

  2. Weather is getting milder and warmer. 🌤️

  3. “Found” some tasty food in a kitchen cupboard I’d slightly forgotten about, so had an easy couple of meals. 🥙

@3goodthings

innervisioner , to Random
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ to you. 🌅
That post-bank holiday weekend feeling; you know it’s been good if you get a sinking feeling in your gut the morning after.

  1. I tidied my messy work room. ✨

  2. A financial target I needed got met. 💷

  3. My friend I haven’t seen in a few years made “half plans” (asked what day is best to visit). 🚙

innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ to you. 🌅 ‘#

  1. A good day of work with nice people. 🙏

  2. Watched 7 hours of quality TV & films straight after. Don’t usually watch much tube, but fun once in a while.📺

  3. A solid sleep. Need to build up regular longer kips going forward. 💤

@3goodthings

innervisioner , to 3goodthings group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Mornin’ 👋☺️. Y’alright?

  1. Got back into hobby video editing via an old Mac Mini, a fun homage montage. 📼

  2. Got a lovely surprise card from a friend who I met via Xitter a while back. Good people can be found everywhere. 💝

  3. Appreciating the breathing space a bank holiday weekend gives when you’ve been on the hamster wheel too long and you can’t quite get used to stopping.😆

@3goodthings

srfirehorseart , to 3goodthings group
@srfirehorseart@ohai.social avatar

@3goodthings

  • a sunny Spring day, which motivated me to take a trip out with a friend to a cafe
    :blobpartlysunny:
  • sitting outside in the sunshine with a coffee and a very tasty cookie
    :blobcatcoffee:
  • going home via the chip shop, to get back with an easy supper
    🍟
innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@srfirehorseart @3goodthings Very artful snacks 👏😎.

Melinda , to 3goodthings group
@Melinda@mstdn.social avatar

@3goodthings

  1. I was worried about Fluffy dog's right ear yesterday, as she looked very unhappy and the ear was drooping. So she went to the Vet's this morning where she has been prescribed drops with antibiotic, and she has to go back in a week to check it is better. I feel relieved and glad it's being treated.
  2. Cats are all doing well, they like the lady who took care of them.
  3. A last view of the coast on the way home yesterday.
innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@Melinda @3goodthings Fingers crossed Fluffy does well with the treatment. 🐾

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@Melinda @3goodthings Ah that sounds like good progress! You’re doing a great job with keeping her back to health, and hope she passes her check with flying colours.

innervisioner ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@Melinda @3goodthings Nice one. 🐾💚

innervisioner , to ActuallyAutistic group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

An question: Do you ever get negatively judged , deemed a doomer or get a general bad reaction when you’re just being honest about something?

Had this with someone the other day and it was a strong visceral reminder of one reason why I used to mask so hard I wouldn’t give my opinion on most stuff.

@actuallyautistic

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@nellie_m How do you deal with it, Nellie?

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@nellie_m @actuallyautistic It’s hard to know all of that, but it’s a true picture. A mirror of the autist insight which itself creates alienation from unenquiring NTs (not all). I share your reluctance to engage with superficial, misunderstanding connections; it takes awareness and a firm decision to know why that works better than the alternatives, even if it’s a lonelier position.

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@nellie_m @actuallyautistic There’s a very stoic freedom to that position. You don’t fit in with them, but you do with the rest of US.

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@nellie_m @actuallyautistic Thank you, I really appreciate that 🫂♾️

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@nellie_m @actuallyautistic That’s part of the pure beauty of Mastodon; safe and open spaces for all communities of like mind. Don’t rule out meeting another ND kindred spirit, we turn up in the most unexpected places! Keep the autie faith, Nellie 🤜🤛

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@nellie_m @vger @actuallyautistic The following video shows an equally disruptive protest with huge social & political impact: 🫨
https://youtu.be/Htvs1wXv1-0?si=Pl0S5mSf8xi04vbC

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@seanwithwords @actuallyautistic Yep: Guess it’s in the territory of unsettling people’s worldview/POV. The tough part is when we are only communicating a view, without any intended negative judgement.

How do you deal with managing that on an ongoing basis?

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@NeanderthalPride @actuallyautistic Yikes, that must be tricky! What do you do to deal with it?

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@seanwithwords @actuallyautistic Great approach, nice one 👏.

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@nellie_m @Aerliss @actuallyautistic Missed your reply, sorry: YES! That really chimes; you’ve nailed that internal tension & lousy feeling.

That’s one big reason why I just don’t bother with many people IRL now. I used to be pro-social years ago because I liked the concept of people (😆) but didn’t have my Dx or understanding about masking & burnout.

Now it seems more about despair or shame related to the few people I do have to engage with.

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@nellie_m @actuallyautistic @pathfinder Thank you. 🙏 Kevin posts a lot of posts that chime at seismic level, but I must have missed that one.

Info & insight are the light that helps us thru the darkness of illusion.

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic Hope that friends don’t use it as a bat to beat you with.

I take it you allow yourself to be authentic and shake off their inaccurate judgement? It’s a heavy burden on your self image though. ☹️

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic Ah, fair enough.

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@blue_led @actuallyautistic Oof, a lot of truth and insight there, that could be said of the ND community as well as your own internal processes. Really sorry you’re in burnout at the money and that it’s putting you off your tech vocation. 😞

Probably why many ND folk hate “fake” biz like advertising, marketing etc because it’s so draining to sell lies for cash.

Hope you get some R&R to recharge and bounce back.

innervisioner , to ActuallyAutistic group
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

Forgive yourself if you’ve had even the smallest of meltdowns during this holiday season. It’s hard work if you have to be around others and mask for any prolonged period. @actuallyautistic

innervisioner OP ,
@innervisioner@mastodonapp.uk avatar

@LilyoftheRally @actuallyautistic They are The Best meltdowns in any autist’s experience 😁. A low bar though; I mean, anything’s gotta be better than overwhelm, system exhaustion or shutdown mode, amirite?!

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