cstross , (edited )
@cstross@wandering.shop avatar


Police called to Willy Wonka event after refunds demanded


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  • BashStKid ,
    @BashStKid@mastodon.online avatar

    @cstross Entrepreneurial breakout from shitty seasonal events and grotty grottos into an all-year fleecing of punters.

    If I were cynical, I’d suggest this is a sequential setup of pop up, local advertising, get the money, shut down, move onto next big town away from the previous council enforcement area, recycling all the advertising / socials as they go.

    cstross OP ,
    @cstross@wandering.shop avatar

    @BashStKid Or money laundering, like the "American Sweet Shop" stores on London high streets.

    petealexharris ,
    @petealexharris@mastodon.scot avatar

    This is the sort of nearly-human advertising some kind of sentient pitcher plant would evolve to display on its leaves, to help it catch and eat children.

    HighlandLawyer ,
    @HighlandLawyer@mastodon.social avatar

    @cstross The full advert is even more surreal, with chocolate willy's twilight tunnel... 🤭
    All from The House of Illuminati <sound of breaking irony meter/>

    derwinmcgeary ,
    @derwinmcgeary@octodon.social avatar

    @cstross You buy a lollipop at this event. There is an extra stick in it at an odd angle, and the man that gives it to you has 6.5 fingers on each left hand. You ask how much, but he just says "moenny". You realise the shadows are wrong. It's too late.

    Sevoris ,
    @Sevoris@mastodon.social avatar

    @derwinmcgeary @cstross sounds like something out of the Laundry files tbh

    cstross OP ,
    @cstross@wandering.shop avatar

    @Sevoris @derwinmcgeary Unfortunately the LF/NM series chronology only runs up to early 2017 so far, a bit too early for LLM-generated imagery.

    zenkat ,
    @zenkat@sfba.social avatar

    @cstross @Sevoris @derwinmcgeary LLMs as a both a source and manifestation of eldritch horrors ... a had batch of possessed NVIDIA chips starts churning out reality-altering models ... a techbro savant makes grand claims about a truly "world-changing" technology ...

    Landa ,
    @Landa@graz.social avatar

    @cstross I kind of assumed that the remnants of the Laundry, Faust Force and whatever reigns behind the us border would stamp out/co-opt that technology before the general public starts remaking themselves in the averaged image of everything… @Sevoris @derwinmcgeary

    dulanyw ,
    @dulanyw@techhub.social avatar

    @cstross "pasadise of sweet teats"

    I assume that's only available after dark

    father_ted ,
    @father_ted@mastodon.world avatar

    @cstross a special one just for you Charlie, using dall-e-3. It just needs a fitting caption, any ideas?

    cstross OP ,
    @cstross@wandering.shop avatar

    @father_ted SCREAM

    ptcurley ,
    @ptcurley@mastodon.social avatar

    @cstross Yulia Burns’ daughter Lydia gets to hold her appearance in this article over her mother for the rest of her life.

    georgexcollins ,
    @georgexcollins@mastodon.scot avatar

    @cstross operation mindfuck, surely

    PJ_Evans ,
    @PJ_Evans@mastodon.social avatar

    One of the people I follow on Tumblr is from Glasgow. It didn't go unnoticed there, either.

    Avalina_Kreska ,
    @Avalina_Kreska@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @cstross 😆 Not to mention the inexplicable spelling! Catgacating? 🤔

    aburka ,
    @aburka@hachyderm.io avatar

    @cstross what an encherining and cathacating story

    SvenGeier ,
    @SvenGeier@mathstodon.xyz avatar

    @cstross Wait -- people complained that nothing happened there? Have these people seen the movies? They should be glad that nobody got killed...

    daviddlevine ,
    @daviddlevine@wandering.shop avatar
    Lazarou ,
    @Lazarou@mastodon.social avatar

    @cstross I do anyway but now I'm definitely taking a LLM made image as a sign that the enterprise is dodgy.

    carturo222 ,
    @carturo222@geekdom.social avatar

    @cstross A paradise of what?

    Number1SummerJam ,
    @Number1SummerJam@mastodon.social avatar
    megatronicthronbanks ,
    @megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.social avatar

    @cstross So obviously this is now GLASGOW WILLY! forever more

    cstross OP ,
    @cstross@wandering.shop avatar

    @megatronicthronbanks Willy Wanka, I guess?

    colin_rafferty ,
    @colin_rafferty@hachyderm.io avatar

    @cstross It’s those sweet teats [sic] that brought me in.

    zog ,
    @zog@jauntygoat.net avatar


    it's the Scottish Edition of PISSWEAK WORLD!


    TonyJWells ,
    @TonyJWells@mastodon.social avatar

    Have any children gone missing and suspiciously large blueberries been seen rolling down the road nearby?

    eduqate ,
    @eduqate@mastodon.social avatar

    @cstross I was grumpily wondering why people were putting up such lame 'AI' generated nonsense just to take the p*ss. Then I went to the website and it is real. Why did people make bookings having seen this? I despair.

    thorne ,
    @thorne@rants.au avatar

    @cstross I posted about exactly this earlier today- we are training them to persuade us. To convince us. On our ‘engagement’. On our conviction.
    We are teaching these mindless things to expertly manipulate our minds.
    If that’s not manufacturing Cthulhu, it’s at least how you get shoggoths.

    jezhiggins ,
    @jezhiggins@mastodon.me.uk avatar

    @cstross "sweet teats"?

    statsguy ,
    @statsguy@mas.to avatar

    @cstross To be fair, I'm kind of glad it didn't turn out to be an "immersive family chocolate experience event". That sounds... dangerous.

    mattmcirvin ,
    @mattmcirvin@mathstodon.xyz avatar

    @cstross They did it all wrong! When advertising The Royal

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